Do Asexual People Have Sex?charlaf7 | May 23, 2020 | 0 | News
We know what you’re probably thinking — how come people who don’t like sex have sex? Well, it’s a lot more complicated than that.
Asexual people do like sex — they just don’t experience much sexual attraction to others. Sexual desire, however, is present in them. That’s why they enjoy engaging in sex as much as the next person.
This sexual identity brings a lot of confusion to both people who have it and those who don’t. So let’s clear the air and find out if these people have any sex at all.
What Is Asexuality?
When it comes to being an asexual person, there are a lot of things you should know. First and foremost, every person has their own definition of what their asexuality means. As with all things LGBTQ+, it’s always a spectrum rather than a box.
To try and simplify as much as we can, asexuality means the absence of sexual attraction. Still, this doesn’t mean there’s a complete absence of it. Some people still have a bit of it left, or they find different kinds of attractions. Sexual attraction simply means you’ve found someone you want to bang. Other attractions, however, allow you to connect to people in a different way.
This doesn’t mean asexual people have no sex drive. Asexuality sex is a real thing. People are often confused because they think these people find sex repulsing. That’s not the case at all. We’d assume that they just don’t have much interest in it. Well, that is until they find the right person. When that happens, so does sex.
There’s a lot of stigma around the asexual identity, which makes everyone confused. One thing is for sure — if you are asexual, your feelings are valid, but if you aren’t, then you shouldn’t police how others should feel.
Attraction for Asexual People
As briefly mentioned beforehand, there are multiple types of attraction. They aren’t only limited to asexual people though. Everyone can feel and experience them. In fact, we need most of these attractions combined to form healthy relationships and/or friendships. So what are these attractions exactly? Let’s find out:
- Romantic attraction — finding someone you want to be in a romantic relationship with.
- Aesthetic attraction — finding someone you’re attracted to based solely on how they look.
- Sensual or physical attraction — finding someone you want to touch, hold, or cuddle with.
- Platonic attraction — meeting someone you want to be friends with.
- Emotional attraction – meeting someone you want to have an emotional connection with, whether that requires being in a relationship or not.
As far as sexual attraction goes, some asexual people can still experience it. However, that requires specific situations. Demisexuality is on the asexual spectrum as well. If you’re demisexual, it means you can feel sexual attraction only towards someone you already have a deep emotional connection with. Knowing all of this, we can definitely say that being asexual is way more complex than we thought.
Is Sex Possible?
Many terms overlap here, so let’s clear them up before we move on. Sexual attraction and sexual desire aren’t the same thing. In fact, they can exist separately, without any influence on each other. Sexual attraction, as we know by now, means wanting to have sex with a particular person. Sexual desire, on the other hand, is wanting to have sex in general.
So isn’t this confusing? Asexual people can both want and not want sex at the same time? That’s exactly right. The same way you don’t walk down the street and find every single person attractive. A line definitely exists, no matter how thin. Based on all of the previous attractions, people who identify as asexual can for sure have sex.
Sometimes, you just click with a person, and there comes the desire to have sex with them. This is especially the case if two people are in a romantic relationship. Still, does this automatically turn someone from asexual to demisexual? Of course not.
Either way, sex is entirely possible for asexual people. Some would assume that they appreciate and enjoy it much more than those of us who have and crave it all the time.
It’s Not Black and White
Last but not least, asexual communities are stigmatized, shunned, and misunderstood, all because people care about sexualities that aren’t even theirs. We understand the need for all humans to understand each other. That’s why there’s so much confusion around asexuality in the first place.
Seeing things as simply as black and white is where all the misunderstandings come from. We know it might be difficult to grasp some of these terms. That’s especially because they overlap, and the difference between them is nothing but a thin line. However, taking just a little bit of your time to learn about this will make everything clear.
Being asexual doesn’t automatically mean that you despise sex. Imagine a bisexual person in a relationship with someone of the same gender. Does that make them fully homosexual? Of course not! If you’re still not understanding, that’s perfectly fine — maybe you’re not even meant to.
These are the people who only experience sexual attraction under certain circumstances. It’s not something they can control, so you can’t say that they’re just hard to get. Some things are simply in our nature from the day we were born.
Asexuality is something many people misunderstand. Does being asexual mean celibacy? Can these people even feel sexual desire? They sure can, and they do have sex. All they need is some other type of attraction as well, or it all boils down to being in a relationship with someone for a long time and having a deep emotional connection.
Whatever the case may be, identifying as asexual is something many people struggle with. It’s too easy to be confused and feel like their feelings aren’t valid. However, they are. That said — yes, asexual people get laid just as much as any other person.