Sex Desire: Men vs. Women

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Do Women Think About Sex as Much as Men Do?

On a first date, both parties are a bit nervous, not knowing what to expect and how things will go. She’ll ask him questions about his hobbies, his job, and his interests. She’ll try to find out if he’s interesting, funny, and whether he might be a good provider. On the other hand, he will answer those questions trying to present himself in the best light possible. His only worry is whether or not he’ll get some action later. Or, at least, that’s how we, as a society, see it.

We all know that saying that men want only one thing. Allegedly, they think about sex every seven seconds or so. But that’s not true at all. Men have thoughts about food and sports as well! It’s no secret that men crave for sexual activity several times a day, but what about women? There’s a willingness to believe that women don’t care about sex, or at least, not as much as men do. But is that the case? Are women actually less interested in sex, or is that just what we think is going on? In this article, we’ll try to get to the bottom of what really is going on. Let’s get to it!

Who Thinks About Sex More Often?

Many surveys had troubles measuring accurately how many times a day each gender has thoughts about sex. You can try solving the problem yourself — simply ask yourself often you think about sex. It’s hard to answer that because we don’t really track those thoughts, and sometimes they are just impulses, not full-fledged imaginations.

On top of that, there’s an issue with our gender perceptions. Men know that they’re perceived as highly sexual beings and often overplay the importance of sex in their lives. The same goes for women but in the other direction.

To counter this intuition, Dr. Terri D. Fisher carried out an experiment in 2009 where students, in addition to sex thoughts, also logged their thoughts about food and sleeping. That way, they were more honest as they didn’t know that sexual thoughts were the only points of interest.

The results showed that the stereotype is actually correct. While there are variations from person to person (there was a man who thought about sex only once per day), on the whole, men thought about sex more often. In fact, on average, they had sexual thoughts 34.2 times, as opposed to women’s average of 18.6. Median values for both sexes were 18.6 and 9.9, respectively. However, the study also found that, statistically, men think about sleeping and food more often too.

Who Seeks Sex More?

Similar research has shown that men also seek sex more often than women. That doesn’t come only from the simple fact that men “want it more;” it’s also connected to the gender stereotype mentioned. For instance, the majority of men will admit to masturbating without any feelings of guilt. With women, that number is about 40%.

Generally speaking, men will try to have sex more often in all stages of a relationship — early on, in the middle, and after many years spent together. Sometimes even after the relationship is over. That is not something unique for heterosexual couples either. Gay men will also seek sex more often than women in lesbian relationships.

On top of that, the average man is more open to having casual sex and experimenting than the average woman. A lot of it comes from social constructs around women and how they should act sexually. They often don’t even entertain the idea of casual sex, as they feel their community would frown upon such behavior. At some point in their lives, all women heard that “the earlier you put out, the sluttier you are” mantra.

What Turns on Men and What Turns on Women?

Social constructs aside, men are more eager to have sex because of how straightforward sex is for them. All you really need to get men’s libido going is to show him an image of a body part. With women, it’s not that easy. They don’t have such obvious turn-ons that get them all going. For them, sex is more contextual. Women are more into the anticipation of sex, the feeling of being desired. That’s why women love romance more than men, who just want the action.

Sexual Satisfaction

The main difference between the two genders when it comes to sex is how we perceive it. What gives us sexual satisfaction? As we said above, women’s sex drive is more contextual and layered. If given a chance, men would have sex with complete strangers without even giving it a thought. Most women are not like that. They need context; they need to put value on sex. Before they get squelchy, they want to talk with their partner and form a connection with them, which can lead to love. Sex for women is an endgame activity, a cherry on top.

For men, however, sex is the connection, or rather, the best way you form it. Sexual impulses are a lot more visual for them too. Men still seek intimacy and love, but they get to it after sex, not before it. That’s why you can get rid of low sex drive in men with a pill, which is not really the case with girls.

Difference Between Men and Women’s Orgasm

Perhaps one of the reasons why things are the way they are is simply because sex is more fun for a guy. Essentially, a sexual activity lasts until the man lasts. Once he’s finished, everything is finished.

While, theoretically, women can reach orgasm multiple times, that’s seldom the case. Statistically, men approximately last four minutes from the moment they enter inside. Women, on the other hand, need 10 to 11 minutes to get to the promised land. That’s why they are more insistent on foreplay.

In a survey conducted among long-lasting couples, 75% of men say they always have an orgasm, while with women, that number is 26%. Step it up, lads, and maybe they will be as eager as you are!